And The Answer is….Who


Why God, why?

When God, when?

How God, how?

Where God, where?

Ever cry out to God with questions like that?  I certainly have.  One night during a time of chronic pain that lasted 8 years, I had this dream:

I was sitting down face to face with Jesus.  I was asking him all my questions about healing.  He patiently answered every single one and it took a very long time.  I knew I would never be able to remember all of this and I really wanted to; it was so amazing.  I needed to write the  answers down; other people would want to know this.  So I found a scroll of papyrus and began writing and writing and writing.  But as soon as I wrote the roll began disintegrating.  I wrote faster; it disintegrated faster and I wrote faster still and it just disintegrated faster still. I was getting frantic.  How could I be healed if I couldn’t remember what He said.  How could I tell people all of this if I couldn’t keep the paper intact.  Finally, the scroll just dissolved.

All the answers were gone -vanished.  None even remained in my memory. I looked up from my empty hands and saw Jesus sitting there smiling at me.

Then I woke up.

Seems I had been asking the wrong questions. 

Instead of asking why, how, when, where, I should have been asking who. 

And the answer is Jesus.  When all else fades away, the answer is Jesus. 

When the doctors can’t answer my questions, the answer is Jesus.

Too many times when the diagnosis comes, or the pain comes, or the symptoms are screaming at me, I tend to ask all the wrong questions. Instead of asking why, how, when, where, I should be asking who.  And the answer is Jesus.   I tend to look at everything but Jesus. My focus becomes on me, on my pain, on my limitations, on my symptoms, on my ability to do all the spiritual disciplines the faith healers tell me I need to do to build my faith so that I will have enough faith to be healed. Enough!

 I don’t need the answers written on that scroll – the answers He gave me that night in my dream.

I need to remember one answer and one answer only:


And all the other questions will be silenced.

Jesus, You were then and You still are today the only answer that satisfies the unanswerable questions in my life.  Jesus, the same yesterday, today and forever.  The God that healed me then and the God that heals me now, thank You. All that is good and right and healed about my life is because of You and words like thank You sound so inadequate.  How do I thank Someone for saving my life -for giving meaning to my life?  Thank You for being the answer to the deepest longings of my heart.  Amen.

P.S.  I did receive healing for that pain.  If interested, you can read about it in my post entitled “The Miracle of Blogging”.




I Have A Dream

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When I was a child, I dreamed of being a National Geographic photographer when I grew up, or a missionary, or a famous scientist or a writer living on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  I wanted to “work for God” but not in the nursery or making quilts and there were no other women in my life working for God in any other capacity to be my role models.  There were no go to people in life I could discuss this with and so I never could figure out where and how I could “work for God”.

When I was asked to leave home at sixteen, I stopped dreaming.

Life became about survival and getting by and working and finding the next party.  And then recovering from the last party.  Dreams didn’t come.  I quit thinking about one day and what I might be when I grow up and how I could work for God.  People say dreams die hard, but I don’t agree, this dream crashed and burned and was over with- in an instant.

It began to stir in me, somewhat years later, when I attended Bible school.  I was surrounded with people who had dreams – big dreams.  Dreams of working for God, of making a difference in people’s lives, of being a part of bringing about the kingdom of God.  And they could put feet to these dreams.  They knew they were going to start a church or go to this mission field or launch this ministry.  Me, I knew nothing.  Try as I might, I couldn’t conjure up a dream.  But I was aware that there was an emptiness inside me, a dream size emptiness; I just couldn’t find the dream to fill it.

Until now.  Now my dream is just this – I want to see people walking in all that God purchased for them by sending Jesus to the cross.  I want to see people living victorious and joyful lives and not just trudging through.  I want to see people healed – physically, mentally, emotionally and able to enjoy every day of the days they have been given on earth.  And I want to see all my family, friends, neighbors, kids I work with, and co-workers when I get to heaven.  The party to end all parties!

This blog is a small step towards that dream.   What about you, do you have a dream you’d like to share?  I’d love to hear about it.

Jesus, You are the resurrection.  The One who resurrects dreams, the One who gives dreams and helps us to bring them to pass.  Raise up the dreams You have placed in Your people, stir them up and help us to put feet to them.  However You define working for You, help me to do with joy.  In Your name, I pray, Amen.