Exceedingly Afflicted -But Not For Long!

I am exceedingly afflicted;

Revive me, O Lord, according to Thy word.

Psalm 119:107

When this pain came on some four years ago and I realized that doctors couldn’t help me and tomorrow it wouldn’t just magically go away, I sank into a pit of despair.  I felt my life spiraling downward and inward until I couldn’t see anything but me and this pain.  I couldn’t see any way out and I couldn’t even talk about the pain. I simply couldn’t frame it in words.

I lost interest in a number of things that would benefit me, going to church, reading the Bible, praying. I would go to church, on occasion, out of force of habit and even, at times, respond to the altar call and go forward for prayer but when asked what I need prayer for all I could say was pain and break down crying. I don’t know which hurt worse – my body or my heart.

A woman I met blogging, suggested that I read through Psalms. Having no better idea, I did that.  At first, it was difficult, the words didn’t touch me at all, but after a while, I began to notice that the feelings I couldn’t put in words were beautifully written.  The pain, the sense of betrayal, the loss, the bewilderment all there.  Someone understood what I couldn’t share.  Someone had captured the feelings I couldn’t express and had laid them out for all to read. I also read of the hope and the peace and the joy that touched the writers’ lives at times and I could feel it touch mine.

And I was revived.

Not overnight, not even in a matter of days.

But I began spiraling upward and outward and began to see the expanse of light just beyond the darkness and I felt hope.

Hope. It’s such a sweet, sweet thing to feel hope when once there was none.

Sometimes, I think miracles are different than we expect them to be. I would have settled for physical healing but God knows there was a deeper work that needs to be done in my life.  There is pain that needs to be dug up, rooted out, looked at and let loose. Only God knows the revival that needs to take place in my life and reading through Psalms showed me that.  I am grateful.

I am truly grateful. Your word has revived me and I know it will continue to revive me. Thank You for the writers of the Psalms who so humbly wrote of their pain and their hope. I am humbled by Your revival in my life, that You would look upon me and see my hurt and touch my hurt in a way that can only be of You. Let Your word richly dwell in me, I pray, and bring about in my life all Your good purposes. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

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2 Comments

  1. This is beautiful. What an encouraging testimony. I can remember being in a very dark place, and He completely rescued me. I love how you described it – spiraling up. Exactly right. Thanks for your encouraging story!

    Like

  2. Pingback: Old Meets New 4 – Revive Me Again | Journey with God

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