She’s Come Undone

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… I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.  John 17:4

Two sleepless nights in a row.  Two days of intense pain.  Just when I thought I was getting better, boom, pains hit.

I would love to say I never faltered in my faith, but I did.  I started wracking my brain trying to pinpoint what I had done that brought on the pain, did I eat an allergen, did I come in contact with one?  I started listing all the things that maybe I could do that would bring relief.  Things I have done in the past and not really gotten relief from, but I was undone.  I wanted help.  I want the pain to go away just as quickly as it came.

I even stopped in at the health food store today and spend some time studying the rows and rows of supplements all promising relief.  It was only a lack of funds that prevented me from buying armloads!

I tried to go about these last two days as though I had no pain, even going to an amusement park for my husband’s company picnic.  I thought having fun would get my mind off pain and it did until a bee bit me in the mouth.  Zinger!  Did that ever hurt!  My cheek and lip were swollen, and the pain persisted for hours. Like I needed a brand new pain!  I considered that perhaps, I wouldn’t be in so much pain if I hadn’t ridden the Scrambler or jumped up so fast when I won at Bingo or walked along the river in the squishy sand or…or…or…

I don’t know what brings on the pain or why it comes and goes and apparently, neither do my doctors.

I retreated to the only medicine (that I can take and still drive) that has helped me at all in the past few years of this pain:  the medicine of God’s word.  And I found this verse reminding me that all that is necessary for my freedom from this pain was done when Jesus took my pains and my sufferings on the cross so many years ago.  When He completed the work His Father sent Him to do – one piece of that was to take my pains away.  After going through my list of all the things that perhaps I could do or do differently or not do, I came back to the place where my undone meets His done.  And once again, I find peace.

One day Lord, I would like to believe, that I will stand firm in faith without the brain wracking search for answers first.  I believe You finished the work our Father sent You to do.  The work of healing me, of taking not only my sins but my pains and my diseases as well.  I want to be that strong, faithful person who doesn’t falter, but for now, could You help me with my unbelief and forgive me for looking for answers in places I know can’t help me.  Thank You for putting me back together again when I have come undone, Amen.

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