Healer or Healing?

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“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you” – Matthew 6:33.

For the past 4 years, I have been in pain and suffering from intense insomnia, racing thoughts, depression, anxiety and if that weren’t enough, severe arthritis in my knees, ankles, and toes.   I have been diagnosed with polymyalgia rheumatica and chronic pain syndrome was prescribed high blood pressure medication, morphine, steroids and sleeping pills.  After declining all the above treatment options, I called my sister Janice.

She and her husband are nutritional consultant gurus and started me on a path of healing through nutrition.  Going this route for healing takes time, not just the time to wait for natural cures to work,  and time to figure out which of the natural cures are going to work for me, but time to do what is necessary for that healing:   preparing fresh veggies, making foods from scratch to avoid processed foods,  determining food sensitivities and allergies, juicing, finding the right supplements, exercising, studying to understand what she is telling me and why  and still doing everything else I was attempting to do before in my roles as mom, wife, sister, employee.   I do these things because I want to become well, so much so that, in all honesty, becoming well has become like an idol to me.  I am focused on it, probably obsessed with it and now becoming well has become like an all-consuming god.   I tell myself that being a good steward of my body is godly and question how can I serve God and take care of my family if I don’t first take care of myself and these things are true.  But there is a higher truth and that is that God is my Healer.  Somewhere in the midst of seeking healing, I lost sight of the Healer.  Not so much because I doubt He is my Healer; that truth is settled in my heart as I have received several miraculous healings by His grace.  No, I lost sight of Him because I didn’t seek Him first.  I was too busy taking care of me and focusing on all the things I need to do just to get through this day and one more probably sleepless night.

Today when the pastor talked about worship, I knew that no matter when or if my healing manifests this side of heaven, God is worthy of my worship.   He is worthy of my seeking Him first.  Sometimes, I’ll be honest, I sought Him out for what He can and will do for me and I think that is ok, after all,  He says He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.  But lately, I have wanted my healing more than I have wanted my Healer and that is not ok.

His word says that if I will seek Him first, He will add all these things unto me.  I am not sure what all these things entail but I sense that if I diligently seek Him, some of the “all these things” just might not matter so much anymore.

Jesus, I know You are my Healer.  Forgive me for the times I have placed my faith elsewhere.  Help me to balance out all the things I need to do in my day for my family and for my health remembering to put You first.  Thank You for showing me the things I need to do for good health and for granting me the grace to do them.  Amen.

Do you need healing?  Can I pray for you?  Please let me know.

reprinted from my blog godhappenings.wordpress.com



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